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I am an English Patriot; I stand for what is right, Fuelled by contempt and anger; robed in English Red and White, Entitled, disenfranchised by folk who don’t look like me And especially by invaders who arrive from o’er the sea. I stick to Christian values, though, like Robinson and Co, By deploring what the…

or World Cup Willies[1] A ‘New World’ World Cup beckons now, We fly across the water, To Mexico, Canada and Trumpland To witness football slaughter. Gone are the days of ’66. The Wolstenholme restraint As Hurst completed hat-trick And a nation thought ‘How quaint.’ If we had known that triumph Would become a yoke, oppressive,…

or: An ode on the resignation of Sir Keir Starmer The years of constant scrutiny As those you trusted, mutiny The colleagues drift to another room And leave you bathed in Stygian gloom. The silence of the lonely one Poignant to be the only one Who’s not included in the shot While ‘trusted’ colleagues scheme…

In Lakeland fair a village stood By name of Mardale Green A quiet, idyllic, wondrous spot Bucolic, verdant, clean. The village dwellers worked the land And shepherded their beasts To make a living as they could From valley, west to east. But 1929 would see The end of this fair dream, The village was dismantled,…

A Canine Homage I love our dogs – no, really, we’d be lost without them; for I look out from my desk, and Fitz is lying on the floor. But Fitz employs his brain cell there as only he knows how He’s there, in pole position, should the postman visit now. Not only that; he’s…

St. Pancreas[1] St Pancreas – my patron saint, For when I’m low, or feeling faint, ‘tis to St Pancreas I will turn With rueful prayers, and real concern This stalwart of the digestive tract Make enzymes: which (and here’s a fact) Break down the sugars, fats and starches While pizza through your system marches Not…